Yesterday in the Kremlin Putin together with the heads of the self-announced people’s republics
and the occupying administrations of Zaporizhia and Kherson signed agreements on joining Russia.
After fake referendums on the occupied territories no one expected anything else.
The annexation was timed to another President’s speech in front of the Federal Assembly on-air.
Given that during his previous speech Putin announced mobilization, everyone waited for this speech with alarm.
Everyone expected something crazy, something horrible. Closure of the borders, martial law, mass executions,
nuclear explosion – anything.
In reality it was an indistinct speech with standard for the Russian establishment conspiracy statements
on changing the world’s order and mean Anglo-Saxons.
Putin’s speech can be divided into two parts.
The ideological part we wouldn’t even touch.
Because come on, this is just embarrassing. It’s such a bull**it. It’s unbelievable that the head of the largest country
in the world, which is the 7th in population and the 11th in economy is retelling some dusty publics
from Odnoklassniki (social media popular among elderly people).
That’s what happens when a speechwriter transfers everything that has been collected in the darkest corners
and cellars of the Internet into the President’s speech.
Do we want to have parent no. 1 and parent no. 2 and 3 instead of mother and father here in Russia. Are you crazy?
What does this “parent No.2” means? Coming from such a lame defender of family values as you are?
You call your own daughters, the closest people in the world, “these women” and hide them behind fake documents!
For 23 years at power, you’ve managed to give birth to the whole municipal kindergarten of illegitimate kids.
Look at this traditional and conservative chap. Anglo-Saxons.
The most schizophrenic thing was to watch the audience. Several hundreds of adult people are sitting there.
Not everyone there has fake accomplishments. Some people there have real education and achievements.
They listen to it and show enthusiasm.
So, they lived to a ripe old age, climbed to the top of the nomenclature pyramid fighting off the competitors
and avoiding prison, so that they could now sit and listen to the lecture about Anglo-Saxons who blew Nord Stream up.
But sanctions aren’t enough for Anglo-Saxons! They started the diversions, incredible but a fact, they’ve made explosions
on the international gas lines of Nord Stream on the bottom of the Baltic Sea
If one day it will turn out that the pipeline – the one which cost Russia dozens of billions of dollars
to build and hundreds of millions to lobby it in Europe and the one they fussed about so much – was blown up
by themselves just to give Putin an opportunity to mention Anglo-Saxons in his speech, it will not surprise anyone.
They invented those genders, kids are taught being perverse since their first grade.
A comic Denis Chuzhoy once had a show “People’s class” where he read the most idiotic comments from Odnoklassniki.
He was quite right to close this show. Because of that. Because now it’s in the transcript on the Kremlin website.
A complete denial of a human, the downfall of faith and traditional values, suppression of freedom.
It’s becoming a religion vice versa - a pure satanism.
Putin wanted to share the world with America, take Kyiv, revive “historic Russia”, build a two-polar planet,
he wanted a new conference in Yalta, but 7 months later he is standing here and complaining about Western immorality.
Every word is complaining about the world’s injustice. Every word is a tear. He wanted to be on a white horse,
instead he is standing in a dirty diaper while his army of 50-years-old metalworkers shove
women’s tampons in their wounds. Such a marvelous geostrategist! It’s so embarrassing and pathetic.
The substantial part of the speech is called “I’m in the house” “together with Russia forever”.
What does this “forever” mean? “Forever” is an amulet word.
For the last 7 months the only phrase which was mentioned more often than “forever” is
“all the goals of the special military operation will be fulfilled”.
The word “forever” should impress everyone with its determination.
If we said “forever”, how will we run away tomorrow?
We’re not playing games anymore. It’s all set. I’ll tell people that killing dozens of thousands of people,
getting sanctions and isolation, spending dozens and losing hundreds of billions dollars just to bite off parts
of 4 Ukrainian regions which are now ruins is an excellent idea and you’ll leave me alone.
We urge the Kyiv regime to cease fire immediately, all the military actions, this war they started in 2014
and come back to the negotiation table. We are ready for this. We said it many times.
But we won’t discuss the choice of people of Luhansk, Donetsk, Zaporizhia, and Kherson.
It is done and Russia won’t betray it.
Well, I’ve fu**d up. So what? I can’t make such a mess and come back with nothing at all! Surely, you understand.
I thought I’d give people Kyiv and Odessa for the election.
I thought I’d become the emperor of big and minor Russia in the ballot.
But let me crawl away at least as the Earl of Half-Kherson! Mobilization turned sociology upside down.
The effect is not the Crimean one at all. It’s anti-Crimean, in fact. Hundreds of thousands of people left for Georgia
in a couple of days. There hasn’t been such a thing since the Civil war. I’m such a talented commander
that when I urge people to go to Odessa they run to Yerevan.
It’s such a victory that I’m shaking hands with the former MMM coordinator. Well, at least it’s something.
It’s clear that there will be no other victory, and mobilization will kill me. But let me go at least like this.
I can’t win anything else, at least don’t let me lose everything.
FAKE GREATNESS
If in the ideological part Putin whined and complained, in the substantial part he pleaded.
He pleaded to part with everything each side has. The problem is that everyone has already heard this.
For the last 7 months Russia promised to come “forever” to so many places, it drew so many “red lines”
and gave so many “last warnings”. 2022 is a champion in making empty threats and false promises definitely
in Russian history and probably in world history. Whoever dares to interfere will be sorry!
But it’s fine, they still supply weapons. If this is going to be heavy weaponry, HIMARSes,
oh, we’ll show you! HIMARSes arrived, blew up the stocks and nothing happened. But if it’s going to be in the Crimea,
we’ll show you an apocalypse! Well, the Crimea still explodes. Russia is FOREVER in the Kharkiv region!
At least now we know that “forever” is approximately till September 12. Putin dared everyone for his whole life.
I’ll show you, you wait, I’ll prove you! But who will take your threats seriously if it turns out to be rubbish,
and the most horrible sanction is that the American producer of feminine hygiene products left Russia.
Then the army will be left without wound dressing. Russia has just two allies – Procter and Gamble.
You can dare people when everyone thinks you’re strong.
But if the most careful, peaceful and herbivorous European politicians are watching your Tampax army
and don’t believe it, then it doesn’t work anymore.
Have you noticed that the Ukrainian army took a lot of abandoned tanks and BMPs in the Kharkiv region
but not so many trucks? Do you know why?
Because it’s much easier to run away on the wheels rather than on the clumsy caterpillar machinery.
Everyone can see it. Everyone can see the disaster of mobilization.
Everyone can see the recruitment of the prisoners.
Everyone understands you’ve got nothing to threaten people with, you’ve got no army,
there’s some medieval militia. Nuclear weapons? Yeah, sure.
From the greedy preacher scared for his own skin as much as for his gold.
Who sat in the bunker during the whole pandemic. Who makes any visitor sit in quarantine for 2 weeks.
The emperor of kilometer-long tables and Zoom-conferences.
When he arrives railway tracks and canalization holes are rolled under asphalt for safety,
a million-people city can be closed up to the suburbs. And now he will risk his own life? Yeah, that’s likely.
Half of Putin’s speech is whining and complaining. And the second half is modest begging.
Please let the poor one save his face. Even if Ruslan Leviev draws the borders of Russia every day in a new place.
It’s illustrative that everyone thought this way. President Zelensky answered immediately.
If he simply said “You’ll get no negotiations”, it wouldn’t be so rude, President Zelensky
who asked for negotiations during the first weeks of war, is not interested in it now, when his army destroyed the
professional part of the Russian army.
He doesn't know what dignity and honesty are, therefore
we are ready for a dialogue with Russia but already with another President of Russia.
Granddad, you’re done. No one will talk to you. Because there’s nothing to talk about.
Moreover, you’ve chosen the most cowardly and servile people for your circle, you’ve destroyed any honor in them.
You’ve created a real kakistocracy – power of the worst.
But even they, those misfits, will understand one day that they should give up on you and take care of themselves.
You’ll not survive together. And the qualities you’ve chosen them for, their cowardice, will be directed against you.
No hero is as scary as a coward in panic. By the way, I almost forgot.
You have been having a war with NATO for 6 months? Here is an application for quick acceptance.
It won’t be really effective, but it will let you know
that we don’t care about your referendums, papers and your “forever” at all.
ALL THE ROADS LEAD NOWHERE
It’s clear what Putin wanted. Putin wanted his own Victory Day.
He was bored standing near the Mausoleum talking clumsily about the war which had been won 7 years
before he was born, but he wanted to win his own war.
He could get such legitimacy, such power so that he could sit on his throne effortlessly until he’s 90.
Instead, 6 months later he has to accept he lost. And this is just that, his acceptance.
Because it’s not clear what to do next. The mobilization of accountants and salespeople will not change the situation
on the front, but it will worsen the situation inside the country even more than the war itself.
The first sociology data don’t show anything but people’s horror, We don’t even need any social polls for that,
the best social service is Aviasales. All this Anglo-Saxon bull**t was just to hide the fact that there
is nothing to be proud of, that we seized God-knows-what, virtual establishments with the borders so uncertain that they
were changing while he was speaking.
Accepting reality is better than nothing. But with this acceptance Putin drives himself even further in the corner.
Right now Russian troops are being encircled in Lyman. The Ukrainian army is attacking the Luhansk region.
What should he do with that? How should he explain it?
To announce regrouping from the territory he announced as his own? Recently, it was like “we haven’t started it yet”,
“everything is going according to the plan”, and what’s now? What are the ways to crawl back again?
How should he explain it to people who are sending their fathers, kids, husbands and brothers
to be killed in the front with another “gesture of goodwill” which looks like running away in panic?
When Vladimir Zelensky says that he will have negotiations with a new President of Russia,
he follows a very strict logic – Putin has cut himself off from the ways of evacuation.
There will be peace, but it will be made with someone else.
Till tomorrow!