The winner’s dominant performance in the electoral procedure has catapulted the talk
of a new conscription drive back into the spotlight.
The odds of the government deciding to send you or your loved ones as boots on the ground
without any chance of getting back in one piece are climbing.
Importantly, those who’ll end up there won’t be able to fend for themselves,
protect their rights, or hope for a decent future.
There’s no chance of getting back physically and mentally unharmed.
War changes people forever.
After the previous drive was announced, we realized it was
unavoidable in case you didn’t want to fight.
You just didn’t have to sign the draft notice or show up
at the draft office to ostensibly “verify your details.”
However, Russian people, including the war opponents,
keep making these mistakes again and again.
The idea of a safe trip to the draft office keeps ruining people’s lives.
For this video, we’ve turned to a psychologist who is a licensed therapist in Russia.
He regularly deals with people whose family members
may be drafted, and researches the subject.
So, our today’s video will almost be a lecture in psychology for you to figure out
the thought process of those who decide to swing by the draft office
or their families urging them to do it.
Being aware of these mechanisms can protect you against
the many hardball tactics, so let’s dive into it.
RECRUITMENT, PROPAGANDA, & PRIMING
One important thing about the recruitment system is that it thrives off
of the cues people have been primed for.
Let’s look at some of them.
Some of the people you know may well be responsive to these cues.
These are mostly targeting socially acceptable behaviors,
like, be a man or at least a decent human being,
not a traitor, a coward, or, God forbid, a wuss.
Such calls click with the mindset of many individuals,
even if they don’t consciously seek to perform
heroic acts or display military valor.
The propaganda knows full well how to push these buttons.
But aside from the propagandist pressure,
these cues tap into ordinary people’s deep-seated insecurities,
like fears or narcissistic injury.
Phrases like “a real man,” “a true patriot, and “an upright person”
can be heard bandied around way too often.
These verbalized self-expectations and expectations from others
are a big part of our external identity,
the one we project and are socially expected to project.
Whether we realize it or not,
we’re hard-wired to think this way, which sometimes
leads to life-threatening decisions.
Violating these norms takes a heavy toll on our mental state,
something referred to as narcissistic injury.
One popular theory in psychology claims we all have a narcissistic part.
Everyone seeks to be validated and viewed as a decent individual.
Even if the above cues don’t resonate with you,
it doesn’t mean you don’t have a narcissistic part.
The odds are, you do, and it requires external validation.
It’s just that the set of “commendable” characteristics
depends on an individual’s system of values.
The violation of “commendable” expectations leads to narcissistic injury.
A person feels like they’re an awful human being or is shamed.
Coping is hard.
For many, humiliation and social death look far worse
than a physical injury or physical demise.
This makes us avoid narcissistic injury at all costs.
And if you can evade guilt-tripping by merely signing a draft notice, what the heck?
This simple act may do the trick.
It gets worse because the odds of getting maimed or killed seem too slim to be true.
After all, death is what happens to somebody else,
while the embarrassment over backing out, fleeing,
failing to protect the loved ones, or betraying
your country is instant and hits close to home.
You may either trap yourself or get ensnared
by your loved ones nudged by the likes of Solovyov.
True, his warmongering may look dumb, but subconsciously, it targets the core
of a person’s self-image where they want to serve the society.
That’s how the propaganda inveigles itself into those whose more primitive needs
like a desire to make an eye-watering fortune off the war can’t be triggered.
Instead, they are concerned about their social status.
The motivation to avoid social embarrassment may look deceptively absurd, but in reality,
most people are hypersensitive to humiliation, shame, and embarrassment.
But that’s just the obvious propaganda that’s been getting
increasingly in-your-face ever since Feb. 24, 2022.
Importantly, the propaganda started dealing in courage
and valor long ago, and in a subtler fashion at that.
The glorification of the Eastern Front action of WW2 has affected
a lot of people born and raised in the former USSR.
The generations of Soviet people were fed stories about the significance
and beauty of dying for the sake of their country and posthumous fame.
It’s hard to get off the hook those who bought into it.
They grew up watching war thrillers and listening to wartime songs.
Those flicks and songs didn’t talk about the horrors of war or death.
They extolled military feats and self-sacrifice as the ultimate virtues.
Many Russians are still affected by those beliefs.
Importantly, they don’t just affect potential conscripts but their families, too.
“My husband won’t be a coward” and “my son won’t be
holding up trembling in fear”—these are the real quotes coming from those
who abide by the principle of “I don’t want to fight, but I will, should they ask me.”
People may well be reluctant to send their loved ones to this war,
but they are equally unwilling to justify what they perceive
to be the role of a fugitive or a coward.
A whole different scenario is when a person doesn’t just sign the draft notice
but turns up at the draft office to get his “details checked.”
They sincerely believe the system will let them go
and they’ll be viewed by others as model citizens.
In such cases, the fear of narcissistic injury is amplified
by an overall decent life within the system.
An average Moscow family may experience the government’s care,
like a convenient lifestyle, fully stocked shelves,
an advanced rapid transit system, and well-arranged public services.
How come the government that’s so caring
toward you can trick you into something?
Staying out of the political processes, people may either be oblivious to the battlefield
situation or think about it within the government-backed narrative.
The government is like, we control everything, the army isn’t understaffed,
and we’ll only draft the ones that fit the criteria.
Just drop by the draft office—it’ll be okay.
Why would we want to trick you?
People end up trapped by this sense of false transparency
in their relations with the government.
Once they receive the draft notice, they indeed show up
at the draft office without sensing the danger of it.
But their self-image is great. I’m not hiding. I’m an upright person.
That’s how people end up ensnared by the recruitment system that won’t let them go.
COUNTER-STRATEGIES
The idea of “a real man” can be countered by the concept of proper fatherhood.
In Russia, a man’s role as a father of his kids often
isn’t part of masculine gender socialization,
even though it can’t be overstated.
It’s essential that kids be around their dad.
He must be able to make sense of his own feelings and the ones his kids have.
Normally, for men, fatherhood should be as important as motherhood is for women
But in Russia, things are often different.
Often, men shy away from public displays of their feelings toward their kids.
They are embarrassed by fatherhood playing a pivotal role
in their lives, even though that’s the way it should be.
Being a good father as an integral part of a man’s life
is a healthy outlook, which should be commendable.
In times of peace, proper fatherhood may be a good idea to promote.
But the conscription, the combat action, and the ensuing
physical injuries and mental scars may eradicate
this part of a man’s life—just as his life overall—forever.
By engaging in combat action, a man can doom himself and his family as well.
The vet’s persistent trauma and mental issues may rub off onto his kids.
Today, it’s hard to predict the future incidence rate
of PTSD and its ramifications for Russian society.
But one thing is certain: those effects will be devastating.
Even today, we’re witnessing cases of aggression
and violence exhibited by the war vets on a regular basis.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg that’s gone public.
The huge underwater part will remain invisible as domestic violence
will be unfolding outside of the public eye.
The war victims will extend beyond the men themselves to include their wives, kids,
mothers, and other family members the war-affected individuals will be venting their rage on.
At this point, let’s get back to where this conversation started.
Even a perfectly reasonable person may sign
the draft notice and show up at the draft office.
This decision will activate an irreversible chain.
As soon as, in a bid to avoid self-betrayal, an individual steps foot in the enlistment office,
his kids’ shot at a bright future will be gone.
They’ll either be growing up fatherless or will be
reunited with the dad they won’t recognize.
There’s no way he’ll remain his former self, “a real man” or “a model citizen,”
and it’s a dangerous illusion that can be quashed by talking to this person.
Granted, it’s hard to convince someone who seeks to live up
to the image of “a real man” to take care of himself.
But the odds suddenly go up if you try to convince him to protect
his wife and kids from the consequences of his decision.
After all, taking care of his family is also part and parcel of the “real man”
deal, albeit not as essential as being brave and heroic.
Moreover, deep down, the individual may well be looking for an excuse
to stay away from the conscription and ride it out.
Guess what, the reason to act this way is there, and it’s not at all an abstract one.
If you emphasize the value the “real man” brings to his family, it won’t hurt him.
There’ll be no narcissistic injury, and you’ll reduce the risks.
True, this line of reasoning sounds corny, but most people want this idea
to be articulated to believe in it and stay out.
Sure enough, appealing to familial bonds and fatherhood taps into the same pernicious
belief that one should prioritize someone else’s interests over their own.
But it can prove life-saving, and the guy will deal with his convictions sometime later.
TALK TO HIM
What can we do to keep the guy from showing up at the draft office
that’ll be inevitably followed by his engagement?
Well, do something we’ve been doing day in and day out: keep talking to them.
It’s particularly important to talk to those
who are exposed to persistent traumatic experiences.
Living in a warring country is just that.
It can also be a sobering event, such as a terror attack.
A setting that is stressful furnishes a perfect context for heroics-related emotions.
While the society is trying to get over a collective trauma and protect itself,
some individuals’ grudge toward an alleged enemy may soar and translate into actions.
There’ll be those whose pain and rage won’t motivate them
to protect themselves but to go fight in the war and protect others.
An immensely traumatized society needs more protection, calls for revenge, and seeks
to cope with the trauma by amping up the aggression levels.
The society’s collective need may lead to multiple instances of individual heroism,
and this trend can, and needs to, be countered.
Those who fell victim to the collective trauma shouldn’t be scolded.
They should be talked to.
Think of someone you know and someone you can reach out to.
But even if you think the person is averse to having
a conversation, you still need to talk to them.
True, they may initially brush it all off, but your conversation may sow doubt in them.
Again, social validation and public opinion are powerful tools
for boosting a person’s self-image.
And at a time when self-sacrifice and heroism are easier to justify,
talking about the harm of these concepts is as vital as ever.
Let’s broach the main angles you’d want to pursue with someone who has decided
to drop by the draft office or is considering this step.
What do you want to shoot for?
There’s no universal silver bullet and no magic phrase.
So, instead, let’s discuss it in broad strokes.
One is the social roles.
We’ve already mentioned those.
Tell them they have a family who wants them to live, above all else,
and who wants to have a healthy son, a good brother, a loving husband, or a caring father.
By engaging in combat action, the person will screw his family.
Neither he nor the government will be taking care of them anymore.
Two, let the person know it’s a bad idea to be
a guinea pig for the government’s claims of integrity.
He may rebut with, “The government has yet to let me down.
It’ll take care of me and my family.”
But even if that’s the case, no one is immune from the excesses.
After all, a lot of folks were drafted that didn’t fit the eligibility criteria.
The real cases will come in handy, so make sure to do your research.
Three, seeking grounds to be exempt
from mandatory conscription used to be a widespread and socially acceptable practice.
Both guys and their parents would go out of their way to protect them
from spending their years of prime kissing up to a drill sergeant.
But the person may go, “Yeah, but the country wasn’t at war.”
Which is true, of course.
But as times have changed, so have the risks.
Active engagements are nothing like a set of drills in the field.
The stakes are much higher.
The risk of dying during a mandatory stint in the army
is much lower than during a hot war.
Finally, it’s the glorification of military feats.
Let them set aside the lionized image of the war and take a look
at the vets of the Soviet–Afghan and Chechen wars.
They mostly have a reputation as an intimidating fringe presence.
They’ve been abandoned by everyone, most prominently by the government
that made them fight in those inglorious skirmishes.
Those who have gotten back from this war are facing the same bad rap.
In other words, the society whose validation the person was seeking
as he recklessly went boots on the ground,
stroking their perceived integrity, will snub them anyway.
The most recent war vets are universally feared, including by
the war supporters who profess to uphold the “real man’s” values.
It so happens that while you’re about to join the war
or already on the battlefield, you’re a hero.
But once you get back, you’re a dangerous, unpredictable,
deranged, and withdrawn man without a sense of self.
As for the families who are proud of their loved ones stepping up to the plate,
they are now blind to this dangerous change for the worse.
They may not realize that their well-being will be gone forever,
and their status will change irreversibly.
It’s along these lines that you can try and talk to people.
Again, these are just the broad strokes.
Be prepared, though, that the conversation
won’t go as planned and may be a tough one.
Bear in mind that people don’t choose to have the trauma that shapes their reactions.
They are subconsciously sticking to the assumptions
that may prove lethal to them.
We haven’t fallen for those lures.
Maybe we’re just lucky. Maybe it’s something else.
But we can protect others from harming themselves and others.
And we must give this conversation a shot.
Lastly, if you’ve just randomly clicked on this video
and are considering a visit to the draft office,
please don’t go there.
There’s not a single person there who’d be interested in your safety
and ready to hear you out, verify your personal details, and attest to your exemption.
The draft offices’ personnel are assigned to do the exact opposite.
They need to hit their conscription targets and get a bonus.
By showing up, you’ll help them do just that.
You won’t be praised for your decency or your honesty. You won’t be a hero.
Conversely, if you ride it out or switch apartments once
the conscription is in full blast, it won’t make you a bad person.
Shame is an artificial concept that doesn’t affect your real life. Spurning it may save it.
Crucially, we’ll surely live to see an era where
these dodging actions will earn you a citation.
This is an unjust war. You don’t defend your country in foreign lands.
Today’s valor is about your ability to dodge the conscription
and avoid both getting killed and killing.
Steer clear of the draft office.
See you tomorrow!