It’s fascinating how suddenly passionate the government
has become about the variety of gender issues.
LGBTQ+ oppression and stimulating population increase via abortion restrictions
seem to be dominating the higher-ups’ minds.
The 70+ y.o. president calls transgenders “transformers” with a giggle.
His gags could’ve been ignored and put down to a senile mind peculiarities.
But the plans to recognize LGBTQ+ as an extremist movement and possible
abortion restrictions are serious matters with real-life consequences.
With the ongoing war, tremendous government spending,
and plummeting national currency rate, it would seem they have stuff to do.
Is it really the time to address procreation and morality questions?
Surprisingly, it is.
Election campaign as a creative endeavor has developed its own rules
over the 20th century.
Have you noticed that promo activities are more or less the same around the globe
when it comes to elections of village council or a national leader?
Colors, fonts, and arrangements may differ,
but any poster features a close-up of the candidate’s head and a catchy slogan.
“Yes We Can” or “Make America Great Again”:
something that can be imprinted into people’s brains.
Contrary to popular belief, political technology is more science than art.
It’s like marketing tasked with selling people and ideas instead of gadgets.
Russians tend to mock it, but a candidate’s appearance,
setting for promo photos, and manner of speech are all subjects
of professional knowledge acquired through trial and error.
For example, if you’re campaigning in a mining town,
it’s better to leave your $5000 tuxedo and Victorian era aristocrat’s accent at home.
Russian election history is rather short, but it has seen an instance
when a failed campaign ruined not just a candidate but an entire party.
The Union of Right Forces perished after their 2003 campaign for some reason
presented oligarchs with private jets instead of decent politicians.
Moreover, any election campaign has to have a theme, a message to the voters.
It can be on the posters, like our 2017 slogan
“From benches and trolleybuses to new Russia.”
We stated urban development as our main goal,
but admitted it’s futile without bigger changes in the country.
Sometimes the theme isn’t explicit but intuitively clear.
That’s the case with Putin’s first term:
he’d follow his predecessor’s steps, there wouldn’t be major changes
but a young and vigorous president.
In hindsight, every presidential campaign in Russia had its major theme.
What about Medvedev’s 2007-08 campaign?
His message was something like,
“We’ve come through a lot, settled down, and made some savings,
so it’s time to meet the world.
Viva innovations, modernization, freedoms, human rights, cosmopolitanism and whatnot!”
What about the current Putin’s campaign?
It’s safe to say it kickstarted on Jan 15, 2020
with the constitution amendments announcement.
Their main goal was obviously giving Putin another 12 years in power,
extending his term beyond biological capabilities.
But it wasn’t the only goal, and that’s where it got complicated.
The amendments and campaign in their support were supposed to become
the biggest event of 2020 and define the political landscape before the elections.
They planned a revolution without a revolution: not selling the same fossil
but erecting a brand new country under a new president
with a familiar last name and new set of tricks up his sleeve.
The same way producers strive to resurrect a protracted TV show.
When ideas dry out, ratings plummet, jokes get old,
and 40+ actors keep impersonating college students,
the producers go desperate.
Suddenly, the characters move to a new city,
theme music changes, and new filming techniques are adopted.
It’s a doomed attempt to sell the old cast, plots,
and dad jokes, as if the audience has the attention span of a goldfish.
Putin’s political strategists plotted something similar in 2020.
But something went wrong.
Instead of the Russian Renaissance, the COVID-19 pandemic broke out.
The grandiose ideas shrank down to shameful pseudo-vote
on tree stumps that quickly went to oblivion.
Today, even the naivest political strategist on a week’s bender
won’t blurt about the triumphant “referendum,”
unlimited trust in the president, boundless love for the vets,
and environmental concerns – cornerstones of New Russia they planned to sell to the public.
The war is truly a new story.
Unlike the bogus 2020 referendum, it has changed Russia forever.
Many people unfamiliar with the regime’s habits expected
the war to become Putin’s campaign’s backbone.
They expected the president to don battle fatigues
and take photos from the war room,
they expected militaristic frenzy and death cult in the media.
However, such plans have been abandoned at least
since the Sept 2022 mobilization announcement.
Discussing the war, using militare esthetics, and cosplaying a great general these days
is like mentioning the rope in the house of the hanged.
It’s been clear for quite a while that they’ll focus on denying
that anything happened on Feb 24, 2022.
And that’s what’s happening.
The war has been shoved deeper and deeper under wraps.
But the question remains, “If not the war, what do we speak about?”
What will be the campaign's theme?
RED HERRINGS
Judging by the recent activity of pro-government speakers,
the upcoming campaign’s major theme will be moralism
centered around people’s relations with their bodies.
And that’s quite predictable.
First, the topic is bottomless.
Discussing other people’s personal affairs can last forever
and doesn’t have to be rooted in reality.
Tabloids come in handy:
they can churn out news when there’s no news whatsoever.
When no celebrity couple is on the brink of a divorce,
they’ll talk about their relationship life hacks.
Genitalia and their usage are always a hot topic
that can be quickly unfolded amidst any crisis, and forgotten at the same pace.
Second, gender issues concern everyone. At least everyone thinks so.
Abortion regulations, family law, and LGBTQ+ rights are the media black hole
that sucks in the public attention no matter the circumstances.
No matter your social circle, be it your neighbors, gentlemen’s club,
or a niche professional forum, everyone’s got an opinion on LGBTQ+.
Third, this discussion is purely theoretical
and doesn’t impose any obligations or responsibilities.
Morality isn’t Kyiv, the battle for it is free of charge.
One doesn’t need a spy network in the “global LGBTQ+ headquarters”
that’ll be busy solely with embezzlement.
Starving soldiers won’t freeze to death in the trenches of fanciful Transgenderland
while generals exchange their personnel’s trench coats for mansions and superyachts.
When a problem is made up, you can’t solve it.
But you can’t fail at solving it, either.
Fighting for your compatriots’ bodies and souls
can last as long as you need it,
and allows you to stop any moment.
Senile personalistic autocracies make up problems when they are the root of all evil,
and they have no one else to blame.
Any real issue discussion leads to a single person.
When you mention thick-headed generals that waste men like cannon fodder,
a question arises: whose generals are those?
In 1999 when Putin acquired power, today’s generals were platoon leaders,
colonels were high school seniors, and majors graduated from kindergartens.
Today’s Russian army isn’t the Soviet army, it’s Putin’s army in its entirety.
Pensions are miserable? Well, which villainous opposition liberal is to blame?
Today’s retirees receiving mere $200 monthly were in their late 30s in 1999.
Almost 25 years of taxation, gargantuan oil revenues, three stages of pension reform,
and a series of minor inflation adjustments,
but the retirement benefits are still miserable.
Mind you, today’s retirees spent a bulk of their professional lives under Putin.
The current regime is at the stage where the problems inherited
from predecessors died with predecessors.
A bit grim, isn't it? None of predecessors has died recently.
The current regime is at the stage where the problems inherited
from predecessors died with predecessors.
When today’s parents bring their kids to the same children’s hospital they went to 30 years ago
and see the same state of despair, they can’t put it down to the so-called “savage 1990s.”
It’s the question of Putin’s government spending
over the years of oil revenue cornucopia.
An election campaign assumes addressing existing problems
and proposing ways to solve them.
Like, that’s wrong, but we’ll fix it.
But after 24 years, the permanent leader can’t afford mentioning real-life issues.
Because even the most gullible citizen may wonder:
“20 years ago, you promised new housing to grandparents of those you’re promising it today.
Some of them didn’t live to see the day.
What’s the matter? Not enough time? Not enough money?”
For Putin’s campaign those are taboo topics,
because all recent history is history under Putin.
It’s quite dumb to draft boys born in 2005
and complain about the 1990s that keep ruining our country.
Russia’s unparalleled military strength used to be a thing to brandish before elections.
In 2018, Putin presented cartoons featuring ICBM targeting Miami.
Confrontation with NATO was another red herring.
Everyone thought the Russian higher-ups
only acted deranged and knew when to stop.
Rivalry with NATO was a useful flight of fancy.
People enjoyed believing they’d win the war that’d never break out.
This red herring’s become obsolete.
No offense to Avdiivka, a 30,000-odd city before the war, but it isn’t Miami, Washington, or Warsaw.
Yet they can’t capture even Avdiivka.
Their 2018’s braggings didn’t age well.
They got publicly spanked by the opponent they considered easy pickings,
so they better be careful with showing off.
They celebrate establishing control over a ruined barn while contemplating a new world order.
This makes war proponents’ blood boil.
Hence the intense discussion of gender matters recently.
Ministers and deputies suddenly decided women ought to become mothers at 20.
The Patriarch of Russia unholsters his magic wand
to double the population with his opinion on abortions.
Ministry of Justice makes up and bans the “global LGBTQ+ organization.”
Putin keeps cracking his juvenile Transformers jokes.
Because savoring details of people’s sexual lives gains attention.
It provokes discussion, which is fuel for any election campaign.
But this is the discussion they can’t fail.
We can’t ignore their savagery though.
Because labeling LGBTQ+ people as extremists
and restriction or ban of abortions will ruin many lives.
When the election is over, felony charges for a rainbow flag
or “inducement to abortion” will mushroom.
Cops and other law enforcers will nab teens for T-shirts
and physicians for the lack of enthusiasm in denouncing the abortions.
No one will care that the new regulations are a byproduct of the past war.
They’ll act according to the law.
When they control all the branches of government,
they can successfully solve made up problems.
Where there’s a will, the malicious LGBTQ+ cult will be outlawed.
Even better if there’s no organization to begin with: no one will file a complaint.
If they must, they’ll lobby the patriarch’s dated opinions
on abortions through the parliament in a heartbeat.
Discussing these issues yields nada, but it can’t be dodged.
Our regime makes it easy to distinguish an organized campaign from local zeal.
A renown psycho deputy raiding gay clubs in the name of Jesus is one thing.
It’s quite different when everyone starts uttering strangely similar hogwash.
And that’s what’s happening.
Putin’s campaign main technique will be addressing matters the voters can’t see.
Hot air and red herrings, so people won’t know what to react to.
That’s their best course of action: to make citizens forget current affairs.
We have to remember one thing:
reproductive freedom and minority rights are very important questions.
Putin’s brainwashing campaign will ruin many lives.
But here’s the elephant in the room:
while we’re distracted with these topics, Putin aims for another 6 years.
Tens of thousands casualties, a comparable number of pardoned convicts,
and hundreds of thousands conscripts no one’s going to bring home in one piece
are the tip of the iceberg Putin’s forged for us over the last 20 months.
And now he’s running for another term.
However important the topics he imposes on us are,
let’s not forget that nothing is more dire than another 6 years of Putin.
We must do our best to prevent them.
See you tomorrow!